Jokes of the day!

[twobears]

 

[dani3839]

that's great twobears!!!

 

[CareyG]

Haha my mom must have said all of those to me, and in turn I said them to my kids!

 

[twobears]

 

[CareyG]

 

[dani3839]

thats a good one twobears!

 

[twobears]

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter
He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man asks "Can I make a wish? "
Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing"
"Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants
The man says " I want a Million Bucks "
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head
And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?"
The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

 

[CareyG]

Hahahaha!

 

[twobears]

 

[vixen777]

Ha

 

[dani3839]

 

[twobears]

 

[CareyG]

 

[vixen777]

HAHA!!

 

[twobears]

 

[dani3839]

that application is a good idea twobears, lol

 

[CareyG]

Haha nice!

 

[mosco]

• -------------------------
  Jack Daniels Fishing Story
  -------------------------
  
  I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
  
  Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
  
  Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
  
  A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that snake, with two more frogs.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  

  • 
    
    
    -------------------------
    Wooded Ravine
    -------------------------
    
    One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
    The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
    
    Jim calls out to his golfing partner in an agitated voice, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."
    
    Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"
    
    Jim shouts back, "Throw me my 7-iron! You can't get out of here with an 8-iron."​

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• Thought of the Day:
  
  “There comes a time in your life,
  when you walk away from all the drama
  and people who create it.
  You surround yourself with people
  who make you laugh.
  Forget the bad, and focus on the good.
  Love the people who treat you right,
  pray for the ones who don’t.
  Life is too short to be anything but happy.
  Falling down is a part of life,
  getting back up is living.”
  
  ~ Author Unknown​

this is rib-cracking

 

[dani3839]

 

[twobears]