Pixie, I just read through all this and I'm so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers. I live with constant arthritis and, though I didn't share this with anyone on this board except 'fawn, I have suffered a lot physically and emotionally this past year. I threw my back out late summer due to stress I think. Then, due to too much stress with this back pain, I lost track of the pain meds I was taking and wound up in the emergency room because I couldn't breath. Shortly after that, I was on bed rest with severe back pain but was afraid to take anything for it because I was afraid of losing my breath again and I was in constant pain with this and the continued arthritis. On top of this, I still had to take several shots of insulin daily and I hate the needles. And, on top of this, while this was going on, I got a call from NJ (from my brother who lives across the country from me) that my Mom passed away due to advanced cancer (and I didn't even know she had it).
So, DON'T YOU EVER WORRY that you think you are whining. Sometimes just writing it out helps, it may even get your mind off the pain even for just a bit. I find myself that when it gets too much I just let myself cry. The tears actually hurt the first few seconds, but then I let them flow and it really helps relax me a little bit. I realize this won't be a solution to make you get away from your pain, but don't hold any tears in, it doesn't help.
Meanwhile, we love you, know that and hope for all the best. Smile when you can if only for a bit and when the pain gets a bit too much, maybe you can chant to yourself, 'Streak On, Streak On' and think of your friends here wishing you well. Maybe that will help a tiny bit.
God bless you, Pixie.