DUCKIE HUMOR

[moslowjj]

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I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.​

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How come we choose from justtwo people to run forpresident and over fifty for Miss America ?​

</TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" vAlign=top>Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.




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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!​

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When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'​

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Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.​

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Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!​

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Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?​

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Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.​

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Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?​

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Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'​

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And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

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[jobill35]

Those are awsome duckey thank you very much

 

[DEBRASEID]

I love it

I needed a laugh today!

Thanks