carey,taz guess what

[Aleastorm]

payne invited us all to his house friday.he will be cooking steaks,deep fried shrimp and a clam bake with fresh clams and corn on the cob and he he said dessert is hush hush til its time.so i guess thats where will be.he is nice and he knows i won't go anywhere and be alone with him so thats why he invited all my friends.i still don't feel like theres going to be a romance between us as i don't look or feel that way towards him.maybe i can see if jake knows any nice girls we can bring with us that would be right for payne.i sure hope so.he is a real sweet guy and i hope we can find the right girl for him.me i just want to be friends thats italea

 

[CareyG]

i just want to be friends thats it

:argueingsmilies:argueingsmilies:argueingsmilies​

 

[Aleastorm]

now carey,don't be mad at me.i just don't want to be responsible for some one eles happiness.being friends is the best i can do.jake likes payne alot as they have alot in common so jake told me to be upfront with payne and just tell him that i just want to be friends.he said there is no sence in making payne invest time into something that will never happen and that aleast he won't be as hurt now but if i would let it go it would cause him more pain later.don't worry jake knows tons of really nice girls.he will find him one.as for me i am not looking.alea

 

[iataz]

just don't want to be responsible for some one eles happiness

Everyone is responsible for own happiness Alea... when people figure that out relationships become awhole lot better

 

[CareyG]

Everyone is responsible for own happiness Alea... when people figure that out relationships become awhole lot better

I agree Tazzie!

Alea, I say you dont make any decisions about this right now just be his friend and see what happens. Dont just assume you wont be anything more...just take it one day at a time.​

 

[Aleastorm]

i know what you both are saying,but he called me 3 times 0n saturday then sunday like every few hours wanting me to let him come over or going out with him no way he is trying to move too fast and i don't want it. he just called cause he is home from work he said i make him happy.see what did i just say about people wanting you cause you make them happy?i don't want that burden.i just told him i only want to be friends and if its more you want then that you will have to find someone else who wants the samething as you.he said he has plenty of friends and he wants me as a girlfriend.he said i am well off money wise and i can offer you a great life.i told him money is not everything and it can not buy happiness and what makes him think i don't have a great life already just cause i not with a guy?thats how i like it no one to answer too.he said you are making a mistake boo i would do anything for you.i told him its my mistake to make.i hope you find someone that has the same feelings as him but i can be her.the last thing he said was i am not giving up on you darlin and i will tear down that brick wall you have built around you.boy is he in for a shock there is no one big enough or bad enough that can challenge me and think that they can break me its just not gonna happen.

 

[iataz]

Alea my friend what are you scared of??

 

[CareyG]

the last thing he said was i am not giving up on you darlin and i will tear down that brick wall you have built around you.

I really like this guy!!! I would tell him to NOT give up on you Alea!!​

 

[Aleastorm]

taz,i refuse to let any man get close enough to hit or abuse me or put me in the hospital again just cause i don't agree with them been there done that it hurts and when you fight back its explosive.jake is going to talk to him and make him back off. jake understands why i am scared he spent weeks in the hospital by my side 15 years ago.i have no use for men who want to control me or tell me what i want or need.i am a big girl and yes i have a mind to think with as to what i want,need and what is or is not good me is up to me.it seems men always want what they want and when they want it if they can't have it they try to take it.now you know why i back away from alot of men.they just don't understand the words don't push don't rush or the words take it slow.they only see and hear what they want to see and hear.alea

 

[CareyG]

they only see and hear what they want to see and hear.

Sweet Alea I am sorry for the abuse you had to endure in the past but take it from someone who has been there...they are NOT all like that. I was not physically abused but I was mentally abused by my ex for 15 years and I didnt want to trust nor go near a man ever again. But I met someone who has showed me that not all men are like that and he shows me nothing but love and respect. It IS possible to find a good guy Alea, you just have to be careful and weed out the bad ones. But one thing I know for sure is that you will never know until you try and you may miss out on the most wonderful man in the world!​

 

[Aleastorm]

carey,i am so sorry to hear that you were abused also.i am happy that you found some one so sweet and nice.yes i know that all men are not all alike.the good news is payne called me(jake went and talked to him)he said he will respect my wishes and we can start by being friends.he said he is willing to take it slow no matter how long it takes.he said that now he understand why i was backing away from him.he asked me to please come over with my friends on friday and would i please teach him how to make wedding soup.he said i could have my body guard jake with me lol.he also said he would give me my space and time until i feel that i can trust him and feel safe with him.he said how sorry he was for what some azz had put me through.but he promised that if i would let him into my life at some point of time he would never hurt me or let anyone else hurt me he also promised this to jake.so we will take things slow and see what fate and god have in store for me.alea p.s. we are going to have teams at his house and play boxing and dancing games on the wii he has just got.oh boy i love them dancing contest on the wii

 

[CareyG]

so we will take things slow and see what fate and god have in store for me.

Thats the spirit Alea!! Happy to hear that attitude, its much better than totally closing yourself off completely.​

 

[moslowjj]

Alea stand for what you believe in. I've been single for 7 years. Not afraid just haven't found the one for me! No matter how thick that brick wall is when the right man walks into your life it will turn that wall to dust!!
The wall that I have around me now is not from Broken heart or trust like it was. How could I fall in love or let someone fall in love with me knowing that my time is so short! A couple of years at best. Nobody deserves false hope! If you know in your heart and mind that he's not the one why try. Love hits you like a brick wall! Trying to love someone never works. Like you I have many great friends that happen to be girls and have had to tell them the same thing just friends. (I don't tell them about life expectancy) God only knows that!! But my DR.s are just under him. Even if they are wrong by five years I won't make it to 58. My mom will be 84 next month and in pretty good health. I don't want to be here when she goes but I'm more afraid of what it will do to her when I go first. So sorry to go on about this was just going to tell you stand for your feelings they are right more than not..And life is to short to go against what you believe to satisfy anyone else.

 

[iataz]

alea I too was in physical, mental and abusive relationships but my husband now is none of those things.. he was able to break down the wall that I had built up around me, even though I tested him because I was sure he was as big of azz as the rest of them.. It takes awhile for the heart to heal.. it takes awhile to trust again but it does happen if you allow it..

At least he is understanding and willing to take it at your pace

 

[CareyG]

And life is to short to go against what you believe to satisfy anyone else.

With all due respect Jamie dear, Life is also too short to hide behind a wall and push away love (at least in Alea's case) I understand why you do it though and would probably do the same thing in your situation. ​

 

[iataz]

And life is to short to go against what you believe to satisfy anyone else.

But if they truly care they don't expect you to go against what you believe to satisfy them

 

[Aleastorm]

hi everyone,carey,and taz i just want to thank you both you have both helped me so much(my mom thanks you too)you both have helped me because you both know what i am going through as you have gone through something similer.mos i am so sorry to hear about what you are going through in your life.i will say prayers big time for you .you are a very sweet man and i hope you get better and i know this is possible cause god does answer prayers his phone is not always busy and he does hear us.jake and payne came over last night.guess what they brought me a fountain not just anyone but one of saint teresa(she is my patron saint)jake took payne to the little catholic shop that i love to go to in pittsburgh.i was not going to accept it but payne said he only bought it as a gift for a friend no strings attached and its just to make me smile.jake told me i have bought you gifts as a friend and you can accept this from him as thats what friends do when they want to make another friend smile.so i said ok they hooked it up its so big lol but so beautiful. jake bought the fake roses to float on the water that flows into the base of the statue.my mom got to meet payne and she just thinks he is the greatest guy.lol i think she is smitten with him.alea

 

[Aleastorm]

hi everyone,carey,and taz i just want to thank you both you have both helped me so much(my mom thanks you too)you both have helped me because you both know what i am going through as you have gone through something similer.mos i am so sorry to hear about what you are going through in your life.i will say prayers big time for you .you are a very sweet man and i hope you get better and i know this is possible cause god does answer prayers his phone is not always busy and he does hear us.jake and payne came over last night.guess what they brought me a fountain not just anyone but one of saint teresa(she is my patron saint)jake took payne to the little catholic shop that i love to go to in pittsburgh.i was not going to accept it but payne said he only bought it as a gift for a friend no strings attached and its just to make me smile.jake told me i have bought you gifts as a friend and you can accept this from him as thats what friends do when they want to make another friend smile.so i said ok they hooked it up its so big lol but so beautiful. jake bought the fake roses to float on the water that flows into the base of the statue.my mom got to meet payne and she just thinks he is the greatest guy.lol i think she is smitten with him.alea

 

[CareyG]

So glad we are helping you in some way and tell your mom we think you are a very special lady and she should be very proud of you!
That man sounds like such a sweetie, and even as just a friend, he is a keeper.​

 

[iataz]

I agree with what Carey said and more


and by the way Alea.. my real name is Teresa