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"THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!! (CLOSED)
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LilbitCrayz
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- Feb 26, 2008
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Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Ok, the "Naughtiest" thing I ever did to anyone in my life - ok, well, one of the naughtiest things I ever did LOL was years ago when I worked in retail - and you have to wear those stupid aprons (God I hated those things) I forgot mine one day so I used someone else's and left their name tag on - ya know - just to be cute for the day - well anyway, I was helping a cutomer who reaaaaallllyyy began to p### me off and I got snotty back - well guess what - she called corporate on "AMY" and the next day the poor girl was called into the office and reprimanded, sent home for the week, and eventually lost her job. I figure she must have been guily of something, right? I never did say anything to anyone but have always felt bad
well, not really, I didn't like her anyway! 
THANKS STREAK FOR THE FUN CONTEST!!
LilbitCrayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz HO909732 Intertops
Ok, the "Naughtiest" thing I ever did to anyone in my life - ok, well, one of the naughtiest things I ever did LOL was years ago when I worked in retail - and you have to wear those stupid aprons (God I hated those things) I forgot mine one day so I used someone else's and left their name tag on - ya know - just to be cute for the day - well anyway, I was helping a cutomer who reaaaaallllyyy began to p### me off and I got snotty back - well guess what - she called corporate on "AMY" and the next day the poor girl was called into the office and reprimanded, sent home for the week, and eventually lost her job. I figure she must have been guily of something, right? I never did say anything to anyone but have always felt bad
well, not really, I didn't like her anyway! THANKS STREAK FOR THE FUN CONTEST!!
LilbitCrayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
HO909732 IntertopsRe: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Quite awhile ago I had this male...friend....We went behind the mall and parked one night to ummmm....talk. I live in PA and in January, when we went to...talk.....it is bitter cold. We didn't realize that while we were...talking....the windows steamed up so much you couldn't see through them. We were quite surprised when we heard a knock at the window. After a few seconds of hurridy..ummm...tidying up the back seat.....we rolled down the window and there stood a cop who proceeded to ask us just what we were doing behind the mall at 3 am. So we told him the only thing we could think of....we were...talking.....well, he didn't buy it. He asked for our ID's and actually laughed when he realized we were both in our 20's He gave us a waning not to park there again because after business hours it's considered trespassing. After a few moments of laughing and a few more to finish...tidying....we left....and the next week we found a new place to .....talk
Quite awhile ago I had this male...friend....We went behind the mall and parked one night to ummmm....talk. I live in PA and in January, when we went to...talk.....it is bitter cold. We didn't realize that while we were...talking....the windows steamed up so much you couldn't see through them. We were quite surprised when we heard a knock at the window. After a few seconds of hurridy..ummm...tidying up the back seat.....we rolled down the window and there stood a cop who proceeded to ask us just what we were doing behind the mall at 3 am. So we told him the only thing we could think of....we were...talking.....well, he didn't buy it. He asked for our ID's and actually laughed when he realized we were both in our 20's
He gave us a waning not to park there again because after business hours it's considered trespassing. After a few moments of laughing and a few more to finish...tidying....we left....and the next week we found a new place to .....talk Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely
in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never,ever, had an accident!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely
in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never,ever, had an accident!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
I was a very very bad teenager...oh geeze, and my mom cursed me with having kids "just like me" :teasin...great!! LOL
One time I snuck out of the house.....got totally trashed.....locked myself out..and decided instead of knocking and waking soemone up and getting in heap of crap, I would find another way in. I broke open the basement window and crawled in....not noticing the huge muddy mess I was leaving on the washer and stumbed my toasty butt to bed.
The next morning I woke up with a hang-over and my mom freaking out because "someone" had broken into the house. I fessed up before she called the cops, got into all kinds of trouble, and then was informed she already knew it was me...she recognized the tread from my sneakers.....
Then there was the time my older step-brother and I sat on the roof throwing water baloons at people who walked by (what? it was hot out, we were doing them a favor.)
and ..... the time I made no attempt to stop my younger adopted sister from holding her breath. She ended up passed out right in the dog food bowl and I busted a gut laughing.
oh yeah...and the time my B/f and I decided to go into the basement for some...alone time. My girlfriend was there with her b/f and told me she'd keep a lookout for my parents and let me know if they came home unexpetedly. He and I were very busy and she came pounding on the basement door yelling "hurry up, your mom's home!!!" Needless to say we both about had a heart attack, got ourselves back together and rushed up the stairs in about 60 seconds flat......only to find my girlfriend laughing hysterically and that my mother had NOT come home....
man...I am in for it when my kids become teens...if they aren't bad, their friends sure will be!
I was a very very bad teenager...oh geeze, and my mom cursed me with having kids "just like me" :teasin...great!! LOL
One time I snuck out of the house.....got totally trashed.....locked myself out..and decided instead of knocking and waking soemone up and getting in heap of crap, I would find another way in. I broke open the basement window and crawled in....not noticing the huge muddy mess I was leaving on the washer and stumbed my toasty butt to bed.
The next morning I woke up with a hang-over and my mom freaking out because "someone" had broken into the house. I fessed up before she called the cops, got into all kinds of trouble, and then was informed she already knew it was me...she recognized the tread from my sneakers.....
Then there was the time my older step-brother and I sat on the roof throwing water baloons at people who walked by (what? it was hot out, we were doing them a favor.)
and ..... the time I made no attempt to stop my younger adopted sister from holding her breath. She ended up passed out right in the dog food bowl and I busted a gut laughing.
oh yeah...and the time my B/f and I decided to go into the basement for some...alone time. My girlfriend was there with her b/f and told me she'd keep a lookout for my parents and let me know if they came home unexpetedly. He and I were very busy and she came pounding on the basement door yelling "hurry up, your mom's home!!!" Needless to say we both about had a heart attack, got ourselves back together and rushed up the stairs in about 60 seconds flat......only to find my girlfriend laughing hysterically and that my mother had NOT come home....
man...I am in for it when my kids become teens...if they aren't bad, their friends sure will be!
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Ummmm, sounds like you might DESERVE it LMAO! Thank goodness mine are all grown up. I got my payback when they were teens and now I am ready for my first grandchild to become a teen this year, ROFLMAO!!!
Ummmm, sounds like you might DESERVE it LMAO! Thank goodness mine are all grown up. I got my payback when they were teens and now I am ready for my first grandchild to become a teen this year, ROFLMAO!!!
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2008
- Messages
- 69,202
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
I have a naughty story for you:
My ex husband took me over to the shopping centre one day and it was his new wife's birthday and he was looking for a card pondering and I found the worst one I could and handed it to him and said this is nice and sure enough he bought it.
I have a naughty story for you:
My ex husband took me over to the shopping centre one day and it was his new wife's birthday and he was looking for a card pondering and I found the worst one I could and handed it to him and said this is nice and sure enough he bought it.
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Okay I've got this one,,, when I was young I was sooooo sooooo bad,,, one time when I was at my boyfriends birthday bash,, well I caught him in a room with another girl.. I was so ticked off that all I could think was get him back get him back... so okay well to name of of the things I did was I got him completely drunk with me mind you,, and I played this lil game of wanting to tie him to the bed...LOL well he let me and when he did,,, ummmmmm well I shaved him bald from head to toe yep he was completely bald as a baby's butt every part of him from head to toe...LMBO and oh it felt beyond good to do this especially being he thought being tied up was in his favor....LMBO
Hugs LovinAl
Okay I've got this one,,, when I was young I was sooooo sooooo bad,,, one time when I was at my boyfriends birthday bash,, well I caught him in a room with another girl.. I was so ticked off that all I could think was get him back get him back... so okay well to name of of the things I did was I got him completely drunk with me mind you,, and I played this lil game of wanting to tie him to the bed...LOL well he let me and when he did,,, ummmmmm well I shaved him bald from head to toe yep he was completely bald as a baby's butt every part of him from head to toe...LMBO and oh it felt beyond good to do this especially being he thought being tied up was in his favor....LMBO
Hugs LovinAl
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt"! Well, here's some background and how you can handle this question in the future.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children.
Holy Schitt, their first, unfortunately passed on shortly after childbirth.
Next came the twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters; Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, and another son, Bull Schitt. Against his parents wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt. Dip Scitt married Lotta Schitt and they produced a son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and married the Happens brothers in a joyous dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrdd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. he recently returned to the family farm with his new bride from Italy, Pisa Schitt.
The young couple is awaiting the imminent arrival of Baby Schitt.
Now when someone tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt, you can promptly correct them.
Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt"! Well, here's some background and how you can handle this question in the future.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six children.
Holy Schitt, their first, unfortunately passed on shortly after childbirth.
Next came the twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters; Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, and another son, Bull Schitt. Against his parents wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt. Dip Scitt married Lotta Schitt and they produced a son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and married the Happens brothers in a joyous dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrdd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. he recently returned to the family farm with his new bride from Italy, Pisa Schitt.
The young couple is awaiting the imminent arrival of Baby Schitt.
Now when someone tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt, you can promptly correct them.
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Re: "THE NAUGHTIEST LITTLE STREAKER" WINS $30!!!
OMG I almost forgot this one being I have soooo many,,, I'm serious too, when I was a growing teenager OMG I drove my parents beyond nuts I was like totally bad bad bad,,, and the thing is I only have one sister whom is a very good girl... but well as my mom use to say I was literally the black sheep of the entire family,,, I mean go figure My entire family is Christian Family and well then we have me me me... Okay now this is a good one.. when I was like 14 yrs old I had a boyfriend mind you that's the one I balded..LMBO but anyways one night Ernie and I my bf.. wanted my mom to take me to a party in a different City,,, Of course my mom was like NO way your not going out to a party in a different City... so of course I didn't like that.. so I made the big plan,,, I told my BF to be ready by 11 P.M. so I waited and waited until my mom and dad went to bed,,, I then tip toed to the kitchen where my mom hung her car keys.... once I did that I went back to my bed room popped the screen from my window,, jumped out of the window,,,, jumped in my moms car which was stick shift and I had never drove a car.. so all the way to my BF house you could imagine how the car jerked it's way down the street,,,,,, anyways I picked up my BF then headed to the Party,,, we jerked are way all the way there...
Once I got there I seen beer and pot everywhere I was overwhelmed with excitement being at that time I was a major pot head...so the party began I drank my little butt off, and smoked as many joints as I possibly could,,, after I was drunk I somehow ended up in my Girlfriends room with my boyfriend doing things I definitely should NOT have LOL hehehehe but anyways about 4 In the morning after I drank milk to sober up we decided I should get home before my mom woke up....we left but it was raining so I couldn't see to well being my eyes were very very slanted...so I decide instead of driving the car forward outta the street that I was going to back all the way up outta the street,,, I was going back and bam bam bam bam boom boom... yep you guessed it...
I bashed my moms rear end of her car in so bad that the trunk was opened permenately.. it didn't close... so anyhow I drove the car home, dropped my BF off at his house...preceeded home,, jumped through my bedroom window,,, tip toed to the kitchen hung the keys up... and then jumped in the window like I was this sweet little angel that was sleeping all night long,,,, anyhow Morning came,,,,, I was watching T.V in my room when I heard my mom say Olga do you wanna go to the store with me,,, I was like No it's okay mom I don't feel like going.. so off mom went,,, within five minutes she was back in the house saying call the police someone wrecked the hell outta the car.... I literally jumped outta my bed and was like NO way your kidding me mom... she was so pissed off, she called the cops and reported a hit and run... would you believe how naughty I was.... I never told my mom until years later...yep... now how bad is that.. just terrible. huh? but hey my pay back came cause about a year after that I went to Juvinile hall for stealing beer from a liquor store.... I'm telling you I was wayyyyy bad,,, I 'll have to share some of my lil juvi days with you soon...Love Olga
OMG I almost forgot this one being I have soooo many,,, I'm serious too, when I was a growing teenager OMG I drove my parents beyond nuts I was like totally bad bad bad,,, and the thing is I only have one sister whom is a very good girl... but well as my mom use to say I was literally the black sheep of the entire family,,, I mean go figure My entire family is Christian Family and well then we have me me me... Okay now this is a good one.. when I was like 14 yrs old I had a boyfriend mind you that's the one I balded..LMBO but anyways one night Ernie and I my bf.. wanted my mom to take me to a party in a different City,,, Of course my mom was like NO way your not going out to a party in a different City... so of course I didn't like that.. so I made the big plan,,, I told my BF to be ready by 11 P.M. so I waited and waited until my mom and dad went to bed,,, I then tip toed to the kitchen where my mom hung her car keys.... once I did that I went back to my bed room popped the screen from my window,, jumped out of the window,,,, jumped in my moms car which was stick shift and I had never drove a car.. so all the way to my BF house you could imagine how the car jerked it's way down the street,,,,,, anyways I picked up my BF then headed to the Party,,, we jerked are way all the way there...
Once I got there I seen beer and pot everywhere I was overwhelmed with excitement being at that time I was a major pot head...so the party began I drank my little butt off, and smoked as many joints as I possibly could,,, after I was drunk I somehow ended up in my Girlfriends room with my boyfriend doing things I definitely should NOT have LOL hehehehe but anyways about 4 In the morning after I drank milk to sober up we decided I should get home before my mom woke up....we left but it was raining so I couldn't see to well being my eyes were very very slanted...so I decide instead of driving the car forward outta the street that I was going to back all the way up outta the street,,, I was going back and bam bam bam bam boom boom... yep you guessed it... I bashed my moms rear end of her car in so bad that the trunk was opened permenately.. it didn't close... so anyhow I drove the car home, dropped my BF off at his house...preceeded home,, jumped through my bedroom window,,, tip toed to the kitchen hung the keys up... and then jumped in the window like I was this sweet little angel that was sleeping all night long,,,, anyhow Morning came,,,,, I was watching T.V in my room when I heard my mom say Olga do you wanna go to the store with me,,, I was like No it's okay mom I don't feel like going.. so off mom went,,, within five minutes she was back in the house saying call the police someone wrecked the hell outta the car.... I literally jumped outta my bed and was like NO way your kidding me mom... she was so pissed off, she called the cops and reported a hit and run... would you believe how naughty I was.... I never told my mom until years later...yep... now how bad is that.. just terrible. huh? but hey my pay back came cause about a year after that I went to Juvinile hall for stealing beer from a liquor store.... I'm telling you I was wayyyyy bad,,, I 'll have to share some of my lil juvi days with you soon...Love Olga- Status