Tiger Woods' Holiday Poem
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a-flyin', while chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine-iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbos phone number was in his Blackberry.
Hed been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
When broad after broad stepped up and confessed.
Hed been bonkin'with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
WithJoselyn, and Kalika - the world has the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tigers sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses and waitresses he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin and beggin' and pleadin',
Tigers wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And then she exclaimed from her white Escalade,
"If youre gettin' laid, then Im gettin' paid."
Now Elin's not pouting, she's full of jolly good cheer,
Cuz her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year !
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a-flyin', while chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine-iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbos phone number was in his Blackberry.
Hed been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
When broad after broad stepped up and confessed.
Hed been bonkin'with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
WithJoselyn, and Kalika - the world has the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tigers sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses and waitresses he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin and beggin' and pleadin',
Tigers wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And then she exclaimed from her white Escalade,
"If youre gettin' laid, then Im gettin' paid."
Now Elin's not pouting, she's full of jolly good cheer,
Cuz her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year !
