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I Guess It Works
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A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why don't you cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."
"Hmmm," the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did.
"I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much extra work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doc said, Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?
"Well, just like you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."
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Explosion
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A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins.
One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened?"
"Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a
cigarette out of his pocket and light up."
"He was smoking in the mixing room?" the investigator said in stunned horror, "How long had he been with the company?"
"About 20 years, sir"
"20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done."
"It was, sir."
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There was a bit of confusion at City Market today.
The store was very busy and as usual full of tourists who don't know where anything is and what they came for in the first place. But in spite of my shoulder and hip and low back.... I was able to gather what I needed without getting too flustered. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysteria and security alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my damn debit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future... Joyce thinks it’s an old age thing but I think it’s the darn clerks and their incomplete instructions!
