Joke of the day! Two for you!

[weesie]

• 
  
  
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  Joke of the Day:
  
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  Two blonds were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
  "I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blond #1.
  "Do what?" asked Blond #2.
  "Send my lawn out to be mowed."
  
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  • Second Joke of the Day:
    
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    THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING
    
    Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the Captain announced:
    'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.
    Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Oslo. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and.. OH, MY GOD !'
    
    Silence followed!
    
    Some moments later the Captain came back on the PA; 'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
    
    Ole, sitting in the plane yelled out: "Vat da Hell now, you should see da back of mine"​

 

[judyb57]