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Joke of the day! Bad ones!! lol!

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weesie

Lifetime Streaker
Joined
Feb 21, 2009
Messages
1,853
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Two Red Ears
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A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"

"The jerk called back!"
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A man dies and goes to HeII where he is greeted by the devil:
Devil: Hey, why are you bumming out?
Man: If you died and went to HeII, you'd be bumming out too.
Devil: HeII isn't what you think it is. It's fun down here. Say, do you drink?
Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why?
Devil: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. HeII, we have whiskey, tiquila, rum, vodka, all the booze you want to drink. We drink til we puke then we drink more.
Man: Ah, that sounds great.
Devil: Do you smoke?
Man: Damm right I do.
Devil: Cool! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You don''t have to worry about getting cancer because you''re already dead anyways.
Man: No ****!
Devil: You like gambling?
Man: HeII yeah!
Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in HeII. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, horse racing, you name it, we got it, and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table.
Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before.
Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned?
Man: I love getting stoned! You mean...
Devil: That's right man, because on Thursdays, it's stoner night here in HeII! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you don't have to worry about overdosing because you're already dead anyhow.
Man: Awesome! I never thought HeII was one swinging place!
Devil: Are you gay?
Man: Uh, no.
Devil: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!
 

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