Joke of the day! An Oldie & Some Common Sense

[weesie]

• -------------------------
  Why Men Aren't Secretaries
  -------------------------
  
  Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:
  
  Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
  They said the Pabst beer is normal.
  I didn't know you liked beer
  
  ----------------------------------------
  

  • Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
    
    Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
    
    If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments.
    
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
    
    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
    
    If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
    
    If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
    
    Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
    
    Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
    
    A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    
    There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
    
    Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
    
    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
    
    Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.​
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    Love this one.......
    
    "Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree"
    

 

[sorcer3ss (RETIRED)]

Yeah I reckon we could all take some of that advice sometimes.

 

[judyb57]

Those are great!